It looks really pretty too! You know when the sun’s shining and the world just looks better and brighter? That’s what the game looks like. It’s fun! It’s engrossing and immersive! And after only a day I’m already attached to my little underdeveloped, wild island and care about my five super ripped washboard-abbed guests that strut around and ask me to spend my energy so they can get my staff to pee on their jellyfish-stung legs. This review is only 600 words like and I’ve spent 250 talking about Helen. We have no idea how difficult it must have been using Daddy’s plastic to buy a whole group of tropical islands and hiring someone else to manage them…Īnyway, the game! This is what I should be talking about! Not Helen. These tourists are braver than me! Helen’s just interested in the money, the gold digging whore! … No, we mustn’t say such things! We don’t know her journey or what she’s been through. Tigers! And they growl at you if you tap on them! No thank you! That does not seem safe at all. She’s your Sherpa on the journey to having the best darn holiday resort on the islands! I’m surprised she hasn’t warned about me the local fauna yet though because there are literally tigers roaming around the island near your hotels. She guides you through the beginning of the game and is the primary task giver.
In Paradise Island 2 Helen is the token busty lady, which is, I’m sure, to attract boys to the game because building a holiday resort on an island with fifteen ice cream trucks next to each other isn’t really their cup of tea.
PARADISE ISLAND 2 ON TWO MACHINES MOVIE
If you have an excellent taste in movies and you love Bridesmaids, you’ll appreciate the phrase, “Fuck off, Helen!” And please trust me when I say you’ll hear yourself saying it repeatedly and giggling to yourself at your own brilliant movie reference when you first play the game. My tablet has been by my side playing the same tune over and over for about two hours and I’ve no intention of turning it off and getting on with my night… I just wish boats would drop off tourists faster, goddamnit! As bad as it for me, my smelly and malnourished body is a testament to this game. They take over my whole life and I forget to eat and wash and pee. Theatre review: Wicked – Palace Theatre, Manchester - 6 December, 2018.Theatre review: Back to the Future!, Manchester Opera House - 12 March, 2020.
PARADISE ISLAND 2 ON TWO MACHINES SERIES
Theatre review: The Official RuPaul’s Drag Race UK Series Two Tour - 20 April, 2022.
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